I get real tired when I go shopping, it doesn't matter whether it is grocery shopping, mall shopping, shopping on ebay, it all makes me tired. I have come to realize it is because of all the choices, and making choices tires me out. I am not saying I don't appreciate the choices, or that there are simply too many and someone ought to do something about it, I just mean for me choices take work. I want to make the right choice, I want to have the satisfaction of making good choices that lead to long term benefits, I want to reduce the harm I might do on others if I make the wrong choice, and I want to maximize my resources to make the best choice. So I consider the choices, I work past my first instincts cause sometime advertisers can fool my brain into making the wrong choice. I think about the choice, do I really need any one of these choices or maybe I can live without the item I consider. Maybe there is a better price, a better option I have not considered. So, when bombarded by many choices, I tend to shut down my brain for repairs! I sometimes never make a decision because I get stuck in that considering mode. Sometimes this is okay, but most of the time pressure builds until I cannot bear it and I make a choice, sometimes good, sometimes so so, but I chose.
When it comes to faith, many choices come to me in how I spend my time in prayer, study, and service. It is often hard to chose and so I spend time considering but don't seem to be able to make a decision, and feel I miss opportunities as a result of spinning my wheels.
This year, I am tired of spinning, I want to be able to make more decisions and so I have given up on trying to make more decisions than my brain can handle all at once.
I am tracking my time finding out what exactly I do, and then see if these practices are bringing me closer or further away to God and living as a disciple. It is not fun being conscious of my choices, I see how I spend more time standing in the same place trying to decide, than actually acting. Or I see myself acting without focus and accomplishing nothing but expending energy. How about you? As I think about the the simple reflection of Micah: "O Mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" I want all my choices to reflect that I am following this call.
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